Dream 8/13/18

I was picking wild herbs and greens along with other women in a community field when a dark haired woman came up to me and told me to follow her.  She was only a little taller than me, a little plump, wearing clothing from another era, and wearing a handkerchief in her hair. In spite of her odd dress; I had no hesitation and turned to follow her. There were other women with us. I looked down and saw some beautiful flowers already cut laying down at my feet. I recognized it as belladonna/deadly nightshade. I looked at the woman and she nodded to me her okay to pick them up. I did and proceeded to follow her. In a far corner behind some trees was a beautifully quilted large geometrically shaped blanket. Underneath the quilt unseen women stood like pillars keeping it up off the ground. Then there were additional women walking around them in a circle also under the fabric. A strangely tall woman dressed in robes slightly lifted a corner of the fabric and I walked up and placed my flowers on the floor in a pile of others. I felt that I had been accepted and loved and was beginning a new journey with these sisters. I turned to walk away and saw my close friend standing a little ways up the path.

Everything was looking different. My vision became vibrant and sounds all became music. I thought to myself that perhaps the strangeness of my perception may be from handling the flowers. I walked up to My friend to tell her what had happened. We walked together with the lady behind us and I began to tell my story. Everything looked bright with an orangish yellow glow as if the sun radiated from within the earth itself and shone out through all of nature.

I had a similar dream to this shortly after my mom had died. In that dream, I walked in a very gray world and met with women all wearing black cloaks and standing in a circle hands locked. I walked up to the circle and a woman covered me with a black cloak and then I took the hand of each woman to my left and right. I had that same feeling of love. As though I was beinging witnessed and accepted for who I was in spite of my grief. It was comforting. From that circle I went back to the hospital to bear witness to my moms passing into her next life. Before she did, she looked at me with love and said it would be okay. This was strange because in real life my Mom no longer had her voice. Then in my dream she passed away. We were alone in my dream unlike in real life.

When I knew she was gone I turned away and there stood one of the cloaked women. She took my hand and led me away from the room.

This second dream came to me after my mom had died and was one of several dreams that re-sparked my interest in witchcraft, feminine strength, and alternative spiritualism. All topics I hadn’t delved into since I was a child.

The overall color of each respective dream demonstrated my emotional and spiritual place. Both were guided by women. Both brought me comfort. Both dreams made me feel accepted as I am right where I am. The first dream started me on a new journey and spiritual path. I wonder what spark of change this second dream may bring.

Going into the Darkness

Maybe it’s just the dark moon, but I’ve been feeling the turning into myself a lot lately. Yesterday was probably the strongest pull I’ve felt in a while. I barely got out of bed. My dreams have been heavy and dark. There have been tears and moments of numb. I couldn’t focus properly on any one thing. I got nothing accomplished on my to do list. I spent the majority of the day just spinning between intense feelings and then nothingness until I would doze off, only to awake and do it all again.


Initially I tried to fight it for the sake of my family. While I don’t mind going into the darkness for a time, I always try to be mindful of pulling others into it with me. However, yesterday’s pull was too intense to simply “put on” a smile and fake it. The darkness demanded of me and so I followed.

Today has been a little brighter. I feel more grounded and protected. The rawness of yesterday has been soothed. Like a seed gone to ground. A seed is often blown around and beat by the sun for a time until it finally finds a place in the soil to root. The earth covers it in its nurturing darkness. The earth feeds and protects it. The seed begins to root and slowly it will reach for the sun.


I will rest in this darkness and learn what it is that I must in order to grow. The darkness isn’t easy, but I feel more myself and real when I am within it. I am glad for it. Cycles…